Earlier in the season, I was doing a weekly H-Bomb that became a personal embarrassment because I kept losing. Frankly, that’s not fun. I promise to do better next year!
Anyway, with just two games left in the season and one that is real, it’s time to drop a true H-Bomb … on the Pro Bowl.
Sure, it’s a great week for the players in Hawaii. And, for some reason, people actually watch. Yes, it is a great collection of players. But, none of the three NFC quarterbacks that were voted in are playing. Robert Griffin III, Aaron Rodgers and Matt Ryan have been replaced by Drew Brees, Eli Manning and Russell Wilson.
Moving the game to the week before the Super Bowl also eliminates players from those teams from being there. For those keeping score, that was nine 49ers and six Ravens.
The overall issue is that no one actually plays defense. It’s simply not tackle football. Commissioner Roger Goodell was livid after last year’s non-effort (for those that don’t recall, the NFC won 59-41), and players this year have vowed to take it more seriously. Really?
Las Vegas doesn’t agree. The over/under on the game is a stratospheric 83.5.
It was left to Houston Texans to tell the simple truth about the game.
Foster told NFL Network, “I see both sides of the coin, I really do. But in all honesty, with all due respect, Mr. Goodell? He’s not out here taking these hits. The fans want a competitive game, but here you have players that have had 16-plus games, an entire season. Our bodies have worn down. This isn’t basketball. You can’t go play pickup football.
“It’s a tough situation for both sides. I think it’s a good revenue attraction for the state of Hawaii. It brings a lot of revenue, brings a lot of tourism here, so you don’t want to see it go. And it’s a tradition for the NFL. So hopefully we get it figured out.”
But, it’s just not football.
Tongues are Wagging … or Tweets
After ESPN “outed” Katherine Webb, the girlfriend of Alabama quarterback A.J. McCarron during the national championship game, Arizona Cardinals defensive lineman Darnell Dockett had some fun with the situation, first by trying to send direct messages on Twitter to Webb and then having a back and forth on Twitter McCarron.
At one point, Dockett put his phone number on a tweet and invited Webb to King of Diamonds, a Miami strip club. To McCarron, he tweeted, I made “OUR” girl famous tonight she had less than 5k followers now she over 80k! We all can go to wingstop!
McCarron tweeted, “u better worry ab being in them playoffs, then going to king of diamonds homie.. #betterkeepdreaming like the rest of these dudes
To which Dockett tweeted, “i don’t have dream, she not my type she cute but not my type, but I will still take her to wing stop not worth prime112.”
Prime 112 is an upscale Miami restaurant.
After a few more tweets, Dockett wrote, “oh and far as the playoffs yeah it was a bad season! (Shoot), wish it would of been diffrent. Maybe u can come help us! #rolltide
Everything calmed down until Dockett visited a Phoenix radio station this week, and was asked about the tweet exchanges. His response was classic:
“It’s not that serious. I was just laughing at people responding because people were really thinking that I was gonna put my number on Twitter. … Anybody that knows Darnell Dockett — the real me, not just the football player, not just the guy you see on TV — anyone that knows me personally knows there is never a dull moment in my life. I’m always excited. I’m always thinking of the next gimmick, the next trick.
“She’s a very beautiful girl. I just felt like someone who’s been modeling and going to Alabama and doing all that country stuff. I just wanted to take her out of her (unintelligible) and bring her to get some of these garlic wings and barbecue wings and go see a few strippers and things like that so she can appreciate what she’s doing. I’m just giving back to the community in the long run.
“And I would have got her if I really wanted her. But I don’t think she’s my type. I’m not into the thinner girls and the modeling thing like that. I like hood chicks. I like girls with a couple stab wounds, bullet holes, been knocked up a few times. I like girls who’ll be able to drive me and look over and be like ‘you know my driver’s license is suspended.’ I like girls who you know have bad credit when they’re 21.”
A Man of Few Words
San Francisco quarterback Colin Kaepernick doesn’t give particularly long answers during press conferences. But he did open up somewhat Thursday when he was asked by all the tattoos he has adorning his arms.
Asked which one is his favorite, Kaepernick said, “Probably the one on the inside of my arms, it says ‘my gift is my curse.’ I just feel like that’s something that applies to my life in many different ways.”
Asked how, he said, “Being an NFL quarterback, there’s a lot of advantages that come with it. There are a lot of doors that open when you’re a quarterback, but at the same time you’re under a lot of scrutiny. There are a lot of things you can’t do as well.”
It was also revealed that Kaepernick has filed an application to get a trademark on what he does after big plays. Kaepernick flexes his right arm, and then kisses his biceps. The trademark he wants is to call it “Kaepernicking.”
When asked about the tattoos on that arm, he said there is “faith” on his biceps and “to God the glory” on his right arm.
Earlier this season, Sporting News columnist David Whitley took umbrage with Kaepernick’s tattoos, writing in part, “NFL quarterback is the ultimate position of influence and responsibility. He is the CEO of a high-profile organization, and you don’t want your CEO to look like he just got paroled.”
When asked Thursday what it means to him as reflected in kissing a tattoo, he said, “No. 1 is kind of my way of saying, I don’t really care what people think about my tattoos. I got them for me and to show people this is what I believe in. God has brought me this far, he’s laid out a phenomenal path for me and I can’t do anything but thank him.”
Harbaughing Continues
The NFL had a conference call Thursday with the parents of Jim and John Harbaugh, Jack and Jackie, along with sister Joani, who is married to Indiana University basketball coach Tom Crean.
John Harbaugh decided to have a little fun by calling in and asking a question. One Jackie started to answer before Joanie quickly broke in.
It went like this:
Question from Baltimore (john Harbaugh): Is it true that both of you like Jim better than John?
Joani: “Hey, John, how are you?”
Jackie: “Is that John?”
Jack: “Is that John Harbaugh? (laughter) Mom was ready to come right through this phone. I am so happy Joani recognized your voice.”
John: “(She) got that fighting spirit up. That’s the way it should be. That is all I needed to hear. I just needed to know that.”
Jack: “Hey, John, she grabbed my arm and she was reaching for the phone!” (laughter)
John: (laughter) “Not the first time that’s happened. You guys are doing great; it has been fun listening to a couple of minutes here. You guys are very articulate and have done a great job. But, I have to go to practice now. They are calling me right now, but it was good to hear your voices. OK, I will talk to you later, love you both. Love you, Joani.”
The Biggest Knucklehead of All
There would be a long list of nominees, but soon-to-be former Lions receiver Titus Young is advancing to the top of the list.
During the season, Young’s various misdeeds got him banished from the team twice, but he ended up still being paid while finishing the season on injured reserve.
Things had been quiet until recently when Young had a classic tweet that said, “Like I said I never been selfish but if I’m not going to get the football i don’t want to play anymore.”
Good one. Not selfish, but then complains about not getting the ball. Of course, it’s also hard to get the ball if you don’t practice hard or show up on time.
After the latest comment, Lions coach Jim Schwartz said, “Every offensive player wants the football and there’s good ways to go about trying to get that done. This is a pretty good example of a not so good idea. Guys are responsible for what they post, what they say. You wear your uniform 24 hours a day now, everybody’s aware of that. We obviously still got some ground to cover there.”
To which the clueless Young wrote, “Oh I’m not done, if y’all going to cut me let me go. I’m tired of the threats. Never needed the money Give me a dollar and a ball bet I come back #HallofFame”
We’ll leave it to others to guess which Hall of Fame Young is headed to.